Buying sex before marriage

I’ve been married, so I got my “license” to have sex after saying “kobul”. But it was so much disaster for me, I never actually cared for it.

When you find someone close to you doing something that might hurt you in any way, it just destroys the whole life. But “Sex with someone other” is not the only or principle thing that can hurt like this. There are so many other things that can hurt you more than this type of confessions. I don’t know your boyfriend, or you. And I never find it acceptable to go to a prostitute and “Buy” sex. But if he’s true to you in the past years, and if you feel like you can trust him (because he’s actually confessing what he did a long time ago, which you couldn’t possibly find out if he hid it from you) then I think you should give him a chance. Because “SEX” is really never the maximum hurting thing in a relationship. There are hundred more things you can find in a relation that make you feel very insignificant (Once I found out my ex-husband is masturbating while I was asleep, you just can’t imagine the pain you feel when even being with the significant other makes you feel small and incomplete)..

There was a dialogue from a Korean movie I’ve seen, it is something like this “Will I ever have that kind of love which will give me warmth in a cold, winter day, that will never make me feel alone”. And if you have that kind of love or warmth from him, then you should just forget about the whole “Prostitute” thing. It’ll of course bother you some times, but just ask yourself “Will it be easier to live without the person who confessed doing something wrong and stopped doing it for my sake than being with a person that might have a similar history (or anything that can hurt you a lot more) that he kept hidden from me just for the sake of the society”.

You’ve been physical before, so you know about the factors that drive toward doing something like that. And for guys, “Sex” seldom gets mixed up with emotions, it is just easier for them to submit to their urges than us, girls.

I used to think “Being virgin” before marriage is a very important thing, then I found out my ex husband had so many other things (although he was a virgin) that killed our relationship. I could never bond with him. So you should value the bond that you two have rather than focusing on the past. But it’ll hurt you. Hurt you bad when you will have disagreements between you. Just think that someone might have more hurtful things in the store for you. Focus on how you feel without him. Focus on how he feels without you. That will help you taking the right decision. Because at the end of the day we all want to be with someone that we love, not someone with whom we can have sex with. Girls want to “Make love”, not have sex. Will you be able to make love with someone other than him? And will you be able to make love with someone about whom you do not know the whole story?

I’m sorry if I offended anyone with this. But it’s actually what I think…


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